A little thing that I been thinking lately..

Tags

indonesia, makassar, myself, Thought

I try my best to fullfill my weekend, but end up I was sitting in the hall at my home, open up laptop, and watching Coffee Prince. huhuhu…

Last week, I did discover on how to make your life a little bit more cheer up, not dull and boring, or feeling demotivated when you go to work. I found out something in CLEO (I know, CLEO it not for my age anymore, but like I care.. ehehe..) and in a little research I made through my life experience.

I think I missed a few thing that spice up my life (actually I already created an entry for this topic, during the time I discover this thing, but when I read back, I don’t feel to paste it).

Passion

I lost interest in anything lately, so how will the passion come with anything I do. And when you without passion, everything seem boring and dull, and you easily become passive and demotivated. So I think I need to find back my passion, especially regarding to my work. I want to be me a few years back, or at least when I start this job, where I was so passionated and excited to do everything. But please don’t blame me all alone. That time I was so naive that I couldn’t see everyone’s true colors, even my boss look so nice to me. Now.. *sigh I know everyone, so I need to be in certain behavior to certain people in order to survive.

But, still I can develop my passion toward my job, so I could produce better, and nicer, and faster job, than everyone else.

People Around Us

No matter you like or not people around it, sooner or later you tend to behave just like them. Or may be not for strong people. But it is happened to me.

For example, I’m the only one woman who like to play futsal in my company. During the first year, I careless about I’m the only woman in the field, even though I still not comfortable with some of those guys. Although I less speak in the futsal court, it doesn’t matter. The matter is I did what I like. But now, no more futsal. I gave a lot of excuse like I was so busy with travelling, or I need to be back early, or I have something to do, or even I feel tired. But the thing is, I start following everyone else, and start thinking that it is not nice for me to play with those guys.

So do happened during weekend. I remember that I always have anergy for additional activities, despite my active regular life. I used to went out every weekend, sometime stay back at friend house just to chill out together, or having supper with some friends. Now, all activity are only during weekend, and sometime, I done nothing during weekend.

Positive Thinking

Err.. actually I have no mood to write anymore. ehehe.. but I think you could think it yourself the relation of being positive and having a good life, right? Well, if you can read until these paragraph, meaning your brain is working. 😉 Good for you!!

***********************************

Update a few thing. This Friday, I will be fly to Makassar. But I don’t what to expect. I have been reading a lot lately about Malaysia-Indonesia relationship. It is quite scary for me. Actually I don’t have issue with them. Even though it is quite heart break to read all those thing they try to do to us, like ‘Sweeping Malaysian’ campaign, with buluh runcing and all other stuff (Alhamdulillah they didn’t meet any malaysian during the incident), but I always think that their miserable life make they do the stupid thing. *I called it stupid because they didn’t even think about the condiquences to their friends in Malaysia if that really happened to malaysian and if only you knew how much they had been paid for doing that hideous thing.

Thank God the earthquake happened in Padang, not that I’m glad it happened, but the action our country taken showing that Malaysia are still very rational and civilize country. It is also a lesson to learn that we are required to be good and nice with our neighbors because they are the closest place we have when we need a help. *this also applied to our dear life.

So, I feel a bit relax to go there this Friday. But still, I still wondering around, what am I suppose to do when I’ve been there. Making my own plan activity, or following others, and not sure what to do. I guess I need to make a phone call to Taiping for that matters.

regards,

~ha~

Puasa Hari Ini…

Tags

myself, ramadhan, Thought

Ntah kenapa, pagi ini saya terasa sungguh letih. Setelah beberapa kali tersengguk-sengguk, saya mengambil keputusan untuk tidur sebentar di surau. Dari 10 minit menjadi 30 minit.. akhirnya melarat 1 jam. Oh tidak, apakah saya dibayar gaji untuk tidur. Huhuhu.. 😦

Kenapa agaknya saya letih hari ini? Satu kerja pun saya tak siapkan lagi. Claim pun saya tak  buat lagi. Cuti raya pun saya tak apply lagi. Weekend ni saya nak balik kg, tapi tiket pun tak beli lagi. Aduuhhh.. apa sudah jadi dengan saya? Mana perginya Ha yang sangat cergas pada Isnin dan Selasa lepas. Yang tinggal di office ni, adalah Ha yang malas dan asyik fikir nak main facebook je. Itupun saya cuba mengawal diri untuk tidak membuat laman tersebut sekarang ini. Oh.. apa sudah jadi dengan saya?

Cubalah saya ambil iktibar seorang officemate saya ni. Walaupun sudah sembilan bulan mengandung, masih gigih bekerja. Membuat persediaan sebelum cuti bersalin. Jadi banyaklah kerja in-advance telah dia lakukan. Aduhh.. kenapalah saya tak boleh menjadi seperti dia!!

Jadi saya MESTI menjadi rajin mulai hari ini. Puasa bukan alasan kita hilang fokus. Puasa bukan alasan kita jadi malas. Puasa bukan alasan kita bertangguh kerja. Puasa itu sebenarnya mempertingkatkan keupayaan kita, menjadikan kita lasak bila tiba dalam keadaan yang sukar!!

reagrds,

~Ha~

Super Saiya, Ramadhan dan Merdeka..

Tags

merdeka, myself, ramadhan, super saiya, Thought

While I was surfing the net this morning (actually, I’m reading blogs.. eheheee.. :D), I found the word Super Saiya.. and one picture come out in my mind. So I want to publish it here.

Super Saiya in action

It has been told that this people 😉 trying to be super saiya at early in the morning at Tasik Putrajaya, witness by Abg Koff, Kak Ila, Hafiz (their son), Fazlon and her husband. The main activity was to take wedding picture of Fazlon and her husband, but suddenly this Super Saiya coming to make a show. What a suprise!!

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Sudah masuk hari ke-5 kita berpuasa. Ibadah di bulan Ramadhan bermula dengan perlahan, mungkin kerana bermula pada hari Sabtu, maka separuh hari dihabiskan dengan menidurkan diri. Huhuhu.. Terawih juga cuma 8 rakaat sahaja. Malam Ahad lagi teruk, langsung tak buat terawih, dengan alasan ada orang datang rumah.

Tapi untung juga Ramadhan bermula pada hari cuti, jadi badan saya tidak mengalami kejutan budaya! Lewat beberapa tahun ini, saya sering mengalami gastrik pada hari-hari awal Ramadhan, tahun ini pertama kali gastrik tak berkunjung ke perut saya. Ehehe.. 😀

Saya berazam nak menjalani ibadah kali ini dengan jayanya! Jadi mari buat checklist:

• Terawih – dah tinggal satu malam..
• TV – masih tengok.. tapi dah kurang skit..
• Tidur – Banyak tidur.. asyik tidur je kejenya..
• Dhuha – baru hari ni buat..
• Mengumpat – Rasanya dah terbabas semalam, sebab jumpa dengan Support kat clinic, so update2 la story skit. Pastu hari ni pun terbabas gak rasanya pagi tadi, update2 plak dengan budak office.
• Masjid – tak pergi lagi, semua terawih buat sendiri.
• Makan – erm.. mula-mula tu diet lari skit, makan ikut suka hati. Maklumla, hari pertama pergi rumah Maklang, pastu pergi tidur rumah Pae pulak. Tapi semalam, nampaknya dah terkawal dah. So Syawal ni, ramping lah badan saya.. ahahaha.. 😀 ooppsss.. dah salah niat ni. Astaghfirullah..

Oklah.. itu saja checklist yang terlintas di fikiran saya!

~SELAMAT MENYAMBUT RAMADHAN AL-MUBARAK~

Mari Berbuka Dengan Kurma..

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Lagi 7 hari kita nak menyambut Merdeka. Buat pertama kalinya, rumah saya mengibarkan bendera. Mungkin kawan saya yang berkerja di DBP itu yang bawa pulang. Kemudian saya pun terfikir, selain dari menghadiri apa-apa acara berkenaan dengan merdeka, dan berasa insaf atas usaha untuk negara kita merdeka, apa sebenarnya makna kemerdekaan kepada saya.

Saya sebenarnya keliru, apa yang patut saya buat untuk menunjukkan kesetiaan saya kepada negara? Bukan cara saya menyambut merdeka di konsert-konsert atau pesta-pesta, apa lagi kalau acaranya di waktu malam. Bagaimana cara rakyat Malaysia patut menyambut kemerdekaan?

Fikir-fikirkan.. dan Selamat Beramal!

~SELAMAT MENYAMBUT KEMERDEKAAN KE-52~

Tunku Abdul Rahaman in action..

Jiwa dan Merdeka..

Tags

merdeka, myself, Thought

Saya rasa ingin update sedikit.

Saya ingat bos saya tak perasaan deraan jiwa saya. Rupanya dia tahu!

Saya telah muhasabah diri dan masalah saya dengan tempat kerja ini. Ada beberapa perkara yang saya ingin lakukan:

1. Saya ingin menukar tujuan bekerja saya. Saya akan tetapkan dalam hati saya bahawa saya bekerja kerana Allah. Maka, sedikit lebih kerja tidak mengapa, asal membawa faedah kepada semua. Tidak mengapa saya bekerja lebih, kerana pasti ada balasan dari Dia. Tentu!! Semoga rezeki saya menjadi berkat.
2. Saya akan cuba memperbaiki komunikasi saya dengan ketua saya. Saya rasa, semua ini berlaku mungkin ada kaitan dengan putus komunikasi 2 hala (communication breakdown) di antara kami semua. Mungkin ini salah satu cara yang terbaik memperbaiki suasana bekerja di sini.
3. Saya akan cuba bersangka baik. Bersangka buruk itu boleh merosakkan jiwa.

Langit Terengganu dari balkoni hotel

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Last Wednesday, I went to DBP to watch Teater Anugerah Kemerdekaan. I was so speechless, and that’s only happened because I was not preparing mentally and physically. Yeah.. I was like planning to just have some fun, and plus to have some food for my soul. But.. it was so different from what I expect.

First of all, I wasn’t thought there were a lot of people, young age (err.. is it mean that I’m old?), not looking so patriotic (I don’t mean to judge, it just that their hair, and clothes and style was so not like people who celebrating merdeka, or may be I’m expecting some nerdy, schema and educated people to come) were pushing each other in order to get into ‘Stor Teater’. Store? I was shock at that moment. I keep asking myself, what am I doing here?

the crowd in front of Stor Teater

After getting into the ‘Stor Teater’, almost quarter of the place already full of people, so a bunch of us just seat at one row left unseated. The minute I seated, I began to think, “this is not going to be Teater Kemerdekaan but most likely to be Drama Radio Kemerdekaan”. Full house, with people sitting all over places (I mean on the floor too), and the most great thing is, the next and the next next line in front of us was full with taller people. And the place was so hot (not sure either the air conditioner was not working, or the place have no aircond at all) that people use the pamphlet given as a fan.

I don’t want complaining to much, since it was free, and we get 6 theater in one night. So I seated quietly, and trying to make fun of it. And the theater was great, if I could see the stage clearly, and if people behind me don’t make too much noise of wanting to see Farid Kamil (it has been told that Farid Kamil should be there, but end up Pekin replace his character), and if the spotlight not focusing on our line, and if the audience not making too much noise. Errmm.. am I to fussy?

From six theater,two of them I like most. One from Aswara student I think, about 3 guys talking about the meaning of ‘Merdeka’. It was so funny as they make fun of people who don’t know the meaning of Merdeka. The other one was from Mamat Khalid, where Khir Rahaman, Vanida Imran and Pekin acted. Well, what can you say, they are the talented people.

So, I end the night with a few question marks in my head. Do the audience really understand the objective of every teater? What actually the audience wanna see? And the actors themselves, do they really acted from their heart, or just another script that need to be memorized? Because I was pretty damn sure, that some of the audience don’t really understand about it and don’t give a damn about it.

p/s: uiks.. panjang plak! 😀

Cerita Tentang Lelaki-lelaki di Sekeliling Saya!

Tags

kahwin, lelaki, Thought

Sudah pun sampai di KT. Pada mulanya saya buat happy2. Kebetulan memang ada je orang di sebelah saya. Tapi dalam flight, saya kene duduk sorang. Terus teringat pasal kenduri weekend ini. Dan saya rasa stress lagi.

Tapi saya pikir, takkan lah setiap kali entry nak cerita pasal stress, depress dan segala macam penyakit jiwa tu lagi kan. Takkan hidup saya ni asyik berkisar tentang kerja je. Jadi mari kita cuba switch kan otak saya untuk perkara yang lain pula.

Tadi masa sampai bilik, saya terus on pc. Saya lihat dalam email ada orang tag saya kat facebook. Dia tulis tentang wedding plan. Ahahaa.. pusing-pusing, topik ini juga yang keluar. Saya harap anda semua bersabar ye. Umur macam saya ni agaknya, memang tak boleh lari dari topik ni kot. Saya pun tak tahu nak tulis balik dan jawab balik soalan dalam notes tu atau tidak. Macam boring je.. Orang asyik tanya bila saya nak kawin lah, wedding plan lah. Padahalnya, saya bercinta pun tak pernah! Nak ‘berkawan’ pun tak reti. Jadi macamana…

Orang selalu cakap saya ni memilih sangat. Saya memilih ke? Jadi saya pun pandanglah lelaki2 disekeliling saya (yelah.. itu jelah yang paling mudah nak memulakan langkah.. kononnya lah! ahaha.. ). Di department saya, adalah beberapa lelaki melayu (sebab ramai cina dr melayu sebenarnya..). Tolak yang dah berkahwin, adalah sorang je bachelor kat situ. Selain dari umur dia yang muda dari saya, dia jugak dah ada buah hati. Jadi terus kosong pilihan.

Di rumah.. erm.. dengarnya ada budak bujang menyewa di area2 rumah saya tu (housemate saya yang cerita). Mungkin satu blok dengan saya kot. Tapi nature keje saya ni, pergi keje kul 6.30 pagi.. dan balik kul 7 malam (plus minus). Itu belum lagi kalau saya kene outstation ke KT ni. Jadi, saya sendiri sebenarnya tak sure pun kewujudan diorg ni, sedangkan jiran sebelah rumah ni pun saya tak kenal, inikan pulak lah tah orang mane-mane tah.

Saya suka join aktiviti outdoors. Jadi saya ada ramai juga kawan-kawan yang masih single. Kejap saya pikir, berapa ramai yang saya kenal. 2.. campur group petronas.. dan kinabalu.. errmmm.. mungkin lebih dari sepuluh kot! Ok, mari kita justify.. tolak yang dah berkahwin.. ada beberapa orang. Yang sorang tu, saya tak berkenan.. sebab solat pun macam tak jaga je. Geng petronas pulak.. saya pun tak sure sape yang tak kawin. Ahahaha.. yang sebenarnya, saya kurang gemar berkawan dengan budak bujang. Saya lagi suka berkawan dan berbual dengan lelaki yang dah berkahwin. Sebab.. selain dari matang, diorang ni tak cuba nak cakap benda yang merapu. Kalau merapu pun, kita tahu mereka ni tak serius. Atau dalam erti kata lain, saya tak suka orang cuba guna ayat-ayat macam nak test2 orang ni. Saya pening nak pikir orang ni cakap betul-betul ke, orang cuma nak test saya je. Kenapa tak straight to the point je. Ini macam nak mengayat, tapi kadang-kadang macam tak. Buat saya takut je!

Futsal.. dulu ada lah group sendiri. Ramai bujang, tapi masa tu tak terpikir plak pasal semua ni. So group pun dah takde. Satu lagi group opis.. huhuhu.. yang tu pun saya tak tahu siapa yang bujang siapa yang dah kawin. Sebab selain main futsal dengan diorang, nama diorang pun ramai yang saya tak tahu, dan bercakap pun jarang. Lagipun, diorang tengok saya ni macam perempuan ke? Saya rasa diorang tengok saya ni macam kawan-kawan sepermaianan diorang je, macam saya tengok diorang jelah. Dan sekarang ni pulak, saya pun dah jarang join. Lagilah saya takde idea siapalah yang ada kat court tu setiap petang Jumaat!

Oklah.. jadi saya sudah buat justification:

Pertama, saya sendiri sebenarnya takut nak cuba benda-benda ni semua. Saya takut benda ni buat saya sakit otak je lagi. Nak memulakan langkah? Ya ampun.. pikir benda tu je pun saya dah sakit kepala.

Kedua, saya pun macam susah nak percaya lelaki sekarang ni. Tah la, semua pun macam nak main-main je.

Ketiganya, lagipun, mana ada lelaki yang nakkan saya. Saya ni bukan macam perempuan idaman. Kalau kawan tu, memang boleh sangat lah. Tapi isteri.. eehehehee.. macam takde rupa pun.

Keempat, keempat apa ya. Dah lupa plak. Oh ya.. saya ni sebenarnya dok cari alasan je ni. Alasan tulah, alasan nilah. Sebab orang asyik suruh-suruh, saya pun bagilah alasan macam-macam. Kalau betul nak, saya mesti akan cuba sedaya-upaya dan bermacam-macam cara, kan? Pernah ada orang nak kenalkan saya dengan seseorang, saya pun jadi takut terus saya kata saya taknak kawin lagi. Ahahaa… memanglah orang tu nak cari calon isteri, tapi bukannya kalau saya pergi berkenalan dengan dia terus jadi kan? Walaupun bila tengok kawan-kawan, atau tengok movie macam best je bercouple-couple ni, tapi saya sendiri tak ada idea macamana la rupa bentuknya jenis hubungan saya ni nanti. Saya ini kata orang banyak benar tak bolehnya.

Jadi begitulah. Eh, bila saya alihkan perhatian saya dari kerja, mood saya jadi ok dah. Oklah.. saya nak pergi mandi ni.. kemudian nak solat jamak maghrib dan isyak pulak. Lepas tu boleh la berehat. Esok nak bekerja!!

mood kembali stabil skit..

regards,

~ha~

Stress, Depress dan Sakit Perut..

Tags

confius, myself, Thought

Saya nak update skit ni. Sungguh letih la semenjak dua menjak ni. Saya bekerja dengan gigihnya sehingga sudah tidak lagi bermotivasi bekerja.

Saya nak balik kg! Sepatutnya saya bercuti 30-31hb ini. Mula-mula bos saya bagi cuti. Lepas tu dia tak bagi pulak. Saya sangat tension. Kerja banyak, buat saya lagi stress. Kemudian masa pula tak cukup, buat saya lagi down. Tetiba perut ini selalu sakit. Kenapa ya?

Sepupu saya kahwin 1hb. Semua adik beradik n family saya turun Ipoh. Saya? di Kuala Terengganu! Mereka seronok berkumpul dan bersuka ria. Saya? Kene kerja walaupun weekends. Ohhoo.. apa nasib saya. (T_T) Buat masa ini, saya cuba buat-buat lupa tentang weekend kali ini. Semoga tiada apa yang menarik berlaku! *Boleh ke saya doa macam tu?

Saya sebenarnya tak tahu nak marah atau tidak pada bos saya. Saya marah kerana bos tak penuhi permintaan saya (saya mahu cuti) tapi kalau saya jadi bos, saya bagi ke anak buah saya cuti? Lagipun, kalau betul bos saya bagi cuti, saya sanggup ke bercuti dan menyebabkan orang lain pula terpaksa buat kerja saya?? Saya tak suka dituduh menyusahkan orang lain. Jadi end-up saya selalu keliru sendiri. Akhirnya, saya marah dan bengang pada diri saya sendiri. Dan saya sangat down. Sebab saya sendiri pun tak tahu apa yang saya nak! Saya rasa down sampai saya rasa tak mahu makan. (tapi saya makan juga sebenarnya..) Saya hukum diri saya dengan buat lebih banyak kerja. Dan saya tetap rasa down!

Ohh.. baiklah anda-anda semua jangan baca lagi entry kali ini. Takut penyakit demotivated ini akan terjangkit kepada  anda pula. Lagipun sekarang ni saya sakit perut. Nak kata tak makan, tadi makan je. Ntah kenapa ntah..

regards,

~Ha~

A Prayer of A Confusing Girl

Tags

Thought

Last week I was in Putrajaya, this week I am in Kuala Terengganu. I guess, it is not suprising nor wierd anymore. What can I say, this is my job nature!

Kind of tired lately. Job is major part of it. But there are other things too. Like thinking of when will I finish off my single life, and start thinking living together. Ahaha.. before we’re going deeper, I should began with, when will I start thinking of having a boyfriend. Yeah.. I think, that’s the right question to begin with.

One of my friend have told me, in order for me to find love, I need to open my heart first. But what is ‘open heart’? Do I need to think about having a boyfriend every time I set my eyes to guys? But it looks so ‘gedik’ if I do that, isn’t it? Do it means that I just need to be friend with more guys? But I think, I already do that, in fact, sometimes I might just over do it! Or I should thinking to move further, every time I be friend with guys? But do I have to do that, even though I don’t feel to do it?

This stuff is so complicated. If is not because of ‘hadith’ said.. “who hates being marriage is not my follower”, and if it is not because of my family keep asking and praying for that, I might as well not thinking about that. Why should I  keep searching for happiness when I myself not really sure I can be happy after marriage. After all, it is not that I’m not  being happy right now.

Oh, so boring thinking about this. I should thinking about sometime else. Eheheh… This is what happened when still awake at 1.56 in the morning.

I pray to Allah, give some ‘hidayah’ and a way for me to move on, so that everyone would be happy. Me myself first must be happy, then averyone around me like my mom, my aun, uncle, relatives etc. Ameen..

2 Perkara Menarik

Tags

myself, Thought

I spend a lot of time finding the right theme for my blog. But still couldn’t find one. So I just choose this one. Hope you like it. And still configuring the this blog. Try to get to use it.

Saya terkena sakit perut pagi ni. Tak tahu la sebab apa. Hopefully the pain will disappear.

Ada dua benda menarik yang saya dapat dengar hujung minggu lepas. Pertama, saya dengar dalam Era, masa saya nak balik Taiping Sabtu lepas. Saya dengar Dr. Fadhillah Kamsah cakap, “Kita melihat dunia bukan seperti adanya, tapi kita melihat dunia mengikut rasa hati kita”. Contohnya, kalau Si A ni senyum ikhlas dekat B, tapi si B tak suka pada si A, si B mesti berfikiran, A ni senyum gatal lah tu. Padahal A senyum ikhlas pada B (ini contoh Dr. Fadhillah Kamsah).

Tapi saya rasa sangat betullah. Kalau hati kita ni tak baik, kita cepat buruk sangka pada orang. Tapi kalau hati kita baik, kita akan berbaik sangka dengan orang. Saya akan ingat pesanan ini.

Yang kedua, saya tengok 3R malam ahad lepas. The topic is about privacy in cyberspace. Quite an interesting topic. Yelah.. I think I have the better reason why I rejected my boss’s friend request in facebook. First, it’s because I don’t trust him. He might bring up any issues he found in FB. Second, I don’t trust myself either. I might slip out my anger or feeling in the FB and it can be an big issue if we don’t handle carefully. So I think, it’s better to be this way. No more other attachment between my bos and me. In fact, it’s better if there is no attachment between my boss and all my team member. (huhuu.. thinking of remove colleagues who has my boss in the list).

regards,
~ha~

Hello World!

Tags

myself, Thought

Hello..

This my first day using wordpress. More and less like other blogs I have. It’s like having a collection of blogs with different platform. But that’s not the reason I’m putting so much afford to build another blog,  but this is more on the new beginning of my life.

Why I put it in such a dramatic way? Well, I won’t tell you everything today. It’s like you meet people for the first time. You won’t reveal everything about yourself right? Even though I believe some of you might know me too well, but still I choose to just talk about nothing-so-important.

How I feel today? I feel fine and ordinary. But I decide today I want to start my life with new personality, new vision, new mission, new move and a lot of the ‘new’ things. What in my mind right now is not a complete picture of what I’m planning to be. That’s why I need some platform to, just write down everything in my head, and later this platform will remind me the person I want to be.

Okay, enough of this talking.  I want you to know that, if you are thinking of making changes, good changes I mean, then go for it! Don’t let anybody make you feel that you are not capable of anything. You are what you want to be!

regards,
~ha~