It’s almost 2 weeks we celebrate new year. I didn’t celebrate it. It’s not just because I was in Acheh at that time (Acheh government forbid to have any celebration or having fireworks etc, as they told), but after reaching 30’s, new year was not something you bother much. In fact, I try to ignore it to the extent I forgot how old I am. Still 20’s? Or are they stop at 30? HAHAA. In denial state I guess.
Anyway, I feel like I’m lacking of planning activities, that I don’t feel much spark in my life lately. Or may be I’m lacking of friends, so I feel bored? But I have a bunch of friends around me. It’s just that sometimes, they are so near, yet I feel so far. Middle age crisis, no? No.. I’m not that old. Hahahah. Still in denial state.
Until yesterday, I have only 1 big plan in 2018, to hike Mt. Kinabalu. And I don’t know why I signed up for that. Well, I said to everyone it’s because I want to try new route they build, after the earthquake last time. But being a social hiker, those was not really a driven to me. So I lost my objective and focus. Is it to be more skinny?(hahaha I’m so stress to see the weight scale). Or for the view? Kinabalu’s view is so breath taking, but talking to the unmotivated me right now, I don’t feel anything.
Now that I read about women 25 and over can be granted tourist visa for umrah, I already set another plan. So starting next month, I’m going to put aside my money for that. Not sure when I’ll be there, but probably next year onward.
When I write random like this, it feels like I’m taking lightly with my life. Like I’m doing nothing much everyday, and it’s all about work and home. And some random hiking/traveling activities. Do I really have a lifeless routine? What should I fill in with my life. Study? I used to considered that too. I don’t think I want to go for Master, but more to learning something new. May be religious. Or psychology.
Talking about psychology, I’m currently building an interest about people. How people think, how brain work, how people react and why people react to the things or some situation etc. Like when reading about Jonghyun K-Pop committed suicide, I really dig the information and try to understand the situation. Not that I know him before and just randomly saw his face a few time on youtube, but I’m curious why people in fame and has everything, committed suicide. From curious, I become empathy with his life. But my empathy sometime taking its toll, that I don’t know how, I’m taking it too deep that it make me feel weird somehow. Those news really make me stress and lonely.
I talked wrote too much. Too random. Now it’s time to end the blog.
Until then.
~Ha~
