At first, I was like to write down some thing. But after awhile, I just become lazy to do anything.
Well, I just update you that I’m not in the office for this whole week. I’m in Putrajaya for system LIVE. This whole week would become worst, busy and tired week, yet happening and a little bit fun (when you surrounding with friends who working really hard together with you to make things happened).
I’m updating this at Pae’s sister’s house. Since I can’t access internet in user place, this is where I’m ALIVE! 😉
One more thing, my lil bro had registered in Master Skills last Sunday. I’m not really agree for him to further study there. The fact is I don’t really trust him. Well, don’t blame me. He never really study hard, especially during SPM, eventhough I encourage him and willing to spend much money for his books. He never show interest in medic or science. In fact, he used to say he liked cooking, and he might thinking of becoming a chef. He never show his determination in anything, in fact he always become the one who try not to involve with anything, which sometime I’m really glad at this point. Because if not, he might end up be friend with bad boys in his school, and become one of them (at my hometown, you could hardly find boys who finish up school at my hometown and became ‘orang’). And another hardly denial point is he is a boy!
Don’t get me wrong. It’s not that I don’t believe in boys. I come from boarding school, so I see a lot of successful men. It just that, he live with my parents. He never really being responsible and independent. He always take for granted with our kindness. He never listen to us. He always argue with anything I said. He never really show me his capabilities.
I’m just afraid of he might thinking of take off from the course. It’s quite an expensive and hard course. What if he couldn’t take that anymore. What if he had a culture shock, and start following the bad one. What if..
But I never want to be the negative to him. Actually, I understand his situation, because I used to be in his shoes. It’s just that now I understand how my uncle and aunt felt when they sent me to boarding school, and then further my study to university. Now I know why my uncle said something like he don’t trust me. Keep asking me to study hard. Keep asking me not to be friend with anybody. Always remind me of how much money has been spend for my study.
So this is the feeling of being parental? Now I feel it. But how awkward it could be? I understand my brother’s feeling, yet still wanna be like my uncle.
After giving a lot of thought, I think I must try to trust my brother. Must let him be responsible and independent, but still guiding him. Must encourage and support him. Let him to be a ‘Person’.
Oklah, I’m tired already. Wanna have a good rest. Tomorrow need to work hard. May all of us rest peacefully tonight!